872 and Counting

I consumed precisely 872 calories before dinner yesterday, and I know this because of the medication I am on to prevent a recurrence of breast cancer.  I've never had to count calories in my life, but given that the meds make weight loss "nearly impossible," according to my doctors, and that my typical strategy of exercising like a mad woman isn't an option right now, given the lymphedema I suffer from, I am reduced, like regular women, to the mundane task of caloric intake management.  In the vernacular, calorie counting.  Oprah, girl, I feel your pain.  If not your lack of fries.

Like a miser, I count them all, not cheating one bit, but was surprised to discover that anything I made from scratch was harder to calculate, because I hardly ever measure.  Really, how many cups of antioxidant-rich dried blueberries and cranberries did I actually put in that chickpea salad?  Uhhhhh—a fist full and then some; I don't know for sure, and really, up until yesterday, I didn't give a rotten turnip (34 calories).  Turns out, the easiest foods to calculate the calories for are raw fruits and vegetables.  A cup is a cup is a cup.  Of broccoli I mean.  And three cups of broccoli is just 81 calories,  in case you were wondering, which, if you harbor the same opinion about broccoli that my BFF does, you are not wondering one little bit.

My BFF is secretly amused by all this, I just know it.  She has been counting calories her entire adult life and likely finds little sympathy for a formally naturally slender girl such as myself when having to decide between the cookie now or the glass of wine later (both about 150 calories, by the way).  Obviously, the wine.

Watching calories, I've found, is a real eye opener.  For example, I now forgo tasty instant oatmeal as a quick desktop breakfast because it is a whopping 160 calories.  You can get twice as much of the regular stuff for roughly the same amount of calories it turns out.  What a rip-off.  And pasta, my dietary staple, is a real fattening deal when you consume three cups of the stuff; try 660 calories BEFORE sauce or toppings.  That's nearly half of my entire caloric intake for the day, or would be if I was eating 1,500 calories, which I'm so trying not to.

There is this surprisingly popular show on the Cooking Channel and Food Network called Hungry Girl.  The chef/creator is just the sort of person who instantly bugs the crap out of me.  High strung, obsessive, self absorbed, formally fat and overly chipper, she drove me nuts before she even told me how many calories were in nuts.  I still cannot watch an entire episode, because I'm pretty sure she is going to confide to the audience the number of calories in a teaspoon of thin air.  She isn't tiny or even slim, but she got her weight under control after being a chub her entire life by obsessively counting calories and coming up with decent recipes that are flavorful and filling but stingy on calories.  So, one has to give credit where credit is due, even if I don't want her version of broccoli and beef stir-fry, which comes in at just under 300 calories.  Pass the pasta, please, even if it is only one cup.  And for goodness sake, get those cookies out of my face.