An Anti-Ouch Strategy

My friend Shirley, who is well on her way to being a fellow breast cancer survivor, has currently just completed her 6th round of 8 rounds of chemo.  She’s almost there.  So close, so darn close and I am tracking her progress and cheering from the side lines like a blood hound with pom-poms because I know my friend is exhausted and frankly, the darn pain is getting to her.  She’s a brave girl but the pain can be accumulative, I know.  She finally confessed she is having vein and pain issues so girl, I am here to provide some much-needed anti-ouch strategy.

Three step process folks and trust me, it really works. 

Step 1: Hydrate.  Drink two big bottles of water 30 minutes prior to any needle/blood work.  The goal is big, fat poofy veins and simply hydrating really helps. 

Step 2:  Ask for a children’s needle. No, I’m so not kidding about this; my blood tech used to save them for me.  I used to wonder if there was a pissed off anemic nine-year old boy plotting revenge against me in the parking lot but she assured me she had enough for legitimate kids as well.  Needles for children are much thinner, tinier and therefore hurt a whole lot less. 

Step 3: Don’t look and breathe.  This step is a two-parter.  Don’t look when you get stuck with a needle because the visual can trigger all those pesky pain receptors in your head so just don’t look.  And the breathing you want to practice is actually called Ujjayi Pranayama (from Hatha yoga) and you do it thusly: 

Inhale through your nose, then exhale slowly open mouth.  Direct the out-going breath slowly across the back of your throat with a drawn-out HAAAA sound.  Repeat several times and then close your mouth. Now, as you both inhale and exhale through your nose, direct the breath again slowly across the back of your throat.  This should help create a soft hissing sound.  Whoops, you are done. 

See?  You spent so much time trying to figure out this whole breathing thing you read about in my blog that you just realized that the needle stick is over and Nurse Ratchet is actually applying a band-aid.  Make sure it’s something cool like a SpongeBob Squarepants band-aid.  I always like to accessorize my boo-boos with the latest in band-aid fashion.  I kept asking for them at my oncologist’s office and they thought I was joking around.  After three rounds of these kind of requests, one of the nurses, with a seriously disapproving frown on her face, like she was dealing with a petulant, misbehaving child, handed me both a SpongeBob band-aid and a lollypop.  I guess she thought me a bit….demanding.  Nevertheless, these simple techniques actually work.

Managing pain is never an easy thing but its part of what we survivors do, even post chemo and well into long-term recovery.  And no matter what you may have heard, a lot of the pain thing is mental.  You have to get your head to a place where you get through it, like any trial in your life.

The lollypop might take extra effort however.