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Health & Fitness

Taking a Bite Out of the 21st Century

Sometimes technological toys can provide surprising stress relief.

I finally am in the ‘I’ of it all. “I,” as in Apple, as in iPhone.

I finally got an iPhone. 

I have been meaning to get a new phone for some time now, but even with the best of intentions, the legacy of my father’s incredible cheapness kept rearing its frugal head, and so I waited until I was eligible for an upgrade.  Then, I had no time. 

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It’s a curious thing that cell phone stores are now like beauty spas of old.  People hang out for hours and hours, and happily so.  I want to get in and out in record time and not stand around fussing over a demo on a phone I am never going to buy.  I tend toward expediency and efficiency in most all transactions, so when three cell phone stores in a row told me that the phone I wanted was on back order and would ship in (vaguely) ‘three or four weeks,’ I wasn’t interested.  

However, when I walked by the cell phone kiosk closest to my home and asked what the back order time was, the sales clerk held up a box and told me he had just taken receipt of a new crop of the very phone I wanted. 

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Sold.

I quickly became a devotee of everything Apple, but, as my father’s cheapness again poked at my virtual wallet, I stingily only downloaded four apps; words with friends (we writers love this sort of thing), hockey radio, a daily calorie counter and, of course, Angry Birds.  I instantaneously developed a love-hate relationship with Angry Birds.  That’s because I whipped through 20 levels with my eyes closed and then got stuck, stuck, stuck. 

Stupid Angry Birds.  

I never play online games - not video, not on a phone, not anywhere - but the sheer futility of Angry Birds, launching themselves, willy nilly, at smug green pigs that (virtually) stole their eggs really has some serious appeal.  I totally get the whole Angry thing, cancer having brought all my simmering resentments and rage to the surface where they rightly belong.  

This is why, stuck as I was for nearly four long days at level 21, Angry Birds remains oddly, though incredibly, therapeutic. 

Cancer taught me in the most brutal way possible that there are so many things outside of my control - even my health, which I took such pristine care of for so many years. 

But I can still express frustration and rage, even, launching Angry Birds at egg-stealing pigs.  The results, which are rather temporary, can also be surprisingly soothing. Take that, you miserable, egg-sucking pigs, take that!!! 

Since my doctors all think I should find new ways to de-stress, I’ve decided to add Angry Birds to my regime of yoga, deep breathing, aromatherapy and meditation. 

My initial take is that AB will do more for my stress level than all the other techniques combined.

If only I can get past Level 23…

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