Where have you been? Um, right here...

Someone recently asked me, "where have you been?"

I was stunned... I have been right here where I have always been... In Milpitas.

But that is not what they really meant. They meant that I have been very quiet... For two years I was an active podcaster and blogger. I was also very active at church and was on the payroll as the Youth Director, but doing so much more.

Then November 17th, my last post, and nothing... So what happened...

In short... I needed to focus on myself for a while. I know sound self-centered... and yes it is... 

I had pushed myself to the limit in so many ways. Physically, spiritually, emotionally, and vocally. I just felt like I did not have much to say or share. 

So what happend?

World Youth Day... For one. I blogged about it for so long and then went and could not put into words what happened... I tried... but I still can't. I may try again, but not here. But after two weeks of being out of the country leading a group I learned.

• I needed to focus on my health.
• I needed a break from my "home" church. 
• I needed to find something new to focus my life on.
• and Youth Ministry was not a passion for me.

So, I stepped down from my positions at church. First, from the paid position. But then more. To be honest I liked being a big part of the day to day workings of my parish. And the more I stepped down to focus on myself the more others wanted me to continue or even do more. I finally had the last straw and had to stop attending my parish regularly for a while. My family do what we call "Church Surfing" and we are not done yet. We have been visiting the other Catholic Churches in the San Jose area. We have been back to our "home" church but we are just not there on a regular basis yet and are not involved. I honestly feel withdrawal from it.

I did step up on the local level and have been helping at Diocese events. So the next level up from the parish. It has been rewarding. I feel like I am needed and relied on. However, unlike at the parish level where I was doing what was needed, on the Diocese level I am suggesting what I can do to help. Leaving the odd jobs to others and not feeling like I am the only one who can do those odd jobs.

In the area of health, I have made some interesting changes. I talked about living with Hemophilia in a prior post but now I am training a Service Dog for myself. I will not go into it much now. But it has given me a new hobby and helped my physical and mental health.

But mostly I have been taking some time to just relax. And do things on my terms and not pushing myself as hard as I have in recent years.

So I am still here... In Milpitas...

And I am starting to itch to get my fluky (random) thoughts back out to the world... So you may hear more from me...

- Stan